


Mending the Hurt

by RhythmOfTheHoltz



Category: Ghostbusters (2016), Ghostbusters - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, F/F, Holtzbert - Freeform, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Sick Erin, Violence, oops I beat up Holtzy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-06
Updated: 2018-08-22
Packaged: 2019-06-22 22:30:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15592200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RhythmOfTheHoltz/pseuds/RhythmOfTheHoltz
Summary: Erin isn’t feeling well, so Holtzmann tells her to go home. The engineer doesn’t expect the containment unit to malfunction.Angst, guilt, and Holtzbert galore!





	1. Malfunction

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I decided to take a venture into another fic for Ghostbusters. I can’t seem to stop beating up everyone’s favorite engineer, though. 
> 
> Don’t worry, there will be a happy ending.
> 
> Let me know what you think!!

Yet another coughing spell. 

She was surprised that she could still talk, given all the coughing that she had been doing. 

Dr. Erin Gilbert placed her head in her hands, trying to ignore the heat from her forehead. 

She felt absolutely terrible. 

Terrible was an understatement. 

Erin was pretty sure that she would feel better if Holtzmann ran her over with the Ecto-1, backed up, and then did it again. 

Not that the engineer would do that to her, but still...

Erin winced as she heard the woman who had invaded her thoughts just moments ago crank up the stereo in her lab. It was followed by the familiar guitar twang of one of Holtzmann’s favorite Janis Joplin songs floating down the steps. 

She heard Holtzmann start singing, and even though the music magnified the throbbing in her head, Erin smiled slightly. If there was one member of the team she would like to have night duty with when she was sick, it was Holtzmann. Abby and Patty had asked her numerous times if she wanted to swap, but Erin had insisted - stubbornly - that she would be fine. 

She was second guessing that decision now. 

Forcing herself to stand, Erin made her way to the steps leading to the second floor, leaning heavily on the railings as she pulled her weary body up the steps. 

By the time she made it to the landing, Dr. Jillian Holtzmann had abandoned her current project and was in full Janis mode. 

Erin couldn’t help but take a minute to watch her friend and the youngest of the Ghostbusters. 

For research purposes, of course. 

The eccentric and energetic blonde was using a wrench as her microphone, singing her heart out to the song. She alternated between foot stomps and a nod of her head throughout each line of the chorus, her throat rumbling as she sung each part of the song. Her blonde hair somehow managed to stay in its trademark style, yellow goggles placed firmly over Holtzmann’s eyes. 

She wore a pair of gray slacks that were stained with oil and paint, a green t-shirt that read ‘Science is Sexy’, and black dress shoes with florescent yellow laces. Her white lab coat that was a tad too big for her small frame completed the outfit. The different articles of clothing shouldn’t have went together, but they worked perfectly for Holtzmann. 

Erin took a moment to relish in the sound of her friend singing. A lot of people didn’t know that Holtzmann had a decent voice. She portrayed a woman of utmost cool confidence in the field and public, but she was a total introvert that wouldn’t dare sing in front of others. 

Erin coughed again, but the sound was drowned out by the music. However, Holtzmann sensed she was being watched. She spun around as she sung, winking at Erin as she finished out the song. The physicist blushed slightly, thinking of the time Holtz lip synced and danced for her mere hours after they met. 

“Did you come here for a piece of my heart, Gilbert?” Holtzmann asked, dancing over to where Erin now stood. The engineer casually leaned against the desk, managing to look downright sexy while turning the volume down and propping her jaw on her hand in one smooth motion. “You know you’ve got it if it makes you feel good,” she told Erin seriously. 

Holtz took a long look at Erin, then said, “On second thought, maybe I’m going to have to wait til you don’t look like you’re going to puke on me.”

Erin opened her mouth to reply, only to interrupt herself with yet another coughing spell. 

“Hey, now! Easy on the germs, sweet cheeks,” Holtzmann warned. “I only have so much Lysol!”

“Funny,” Erin managed between hacks. 

“Seriously, though. Why don’t you head home?” Holtzmann suggested. “You look like you need drink a bottle of whiskey and sleep this thing off.”

“I don’t want to leave you alone,” Erin protested. It was an unspoken rule, after Rowan, that they didn’t leave each other alone at the headquarters. The odds of someone becoming possessed again were slim, but the ladies didn’t want to push their luck. 

Holtzmann rolled her eyes dramatically at her friend. “Oh, please,” she exaggerated, “I’ve got these babies.” She ended her statement with a flexing pose that Erin took a moment to admire. Even though she was petite, Holtzmann was one of the strongest women she knew. The woman could carry their heavy equipment without blinking an eye and then turn around and bust a ghost without breaking a sweat. 

Erin realized that she was daydreaming when she saw the tiny smirk appear on Holtzmann’s face. She finally rolled her eyes back at Holtzmann. “You are so intimidating, Holtzy,” Erin said. She hesitated, then asked, “You sure?”

“Abso-tootly,” Holtzmann replied. “I just have to transfer the late Mr. Jameson into the large containment unit then I was going to work on calibrating some of our toys and possibly beginning the blueprints to make a ghost stun gun.”

“Not sure how you can stun something dead, but okay, Holtzmann.” A pause, then Erin added, “I’ll wait until you get Mr. Jameson into the unit.”

“Nah,” Holtzmann replied with a wave of her hand. “He’s a pussycat. I can handle the transfer. You go home and go to bed. Do me a favor though?” 

“What’s that?” 

“Text me when you get home, please?”

Erin’s heart warmed, and she managed a smile despite how lousy she felt. “Sure, Holtzmann,” she answered, “And thanks.”

“No problemo, sweet cheeks. You get better, okay?” 

Erin nodded, glancing at Holtzmann one last time before making her way down the steps. She took a moment to grab her purse before making her way out of the firehouse. 

Holtzmann waited until she heard the door shut before turning back to her work station. She braced her hands against the cool slate and sighed lightly, thinking of the woman whose perfume now lingered in her lab. 

Man, she had it bad. 

She hoped Erin was okay. The slight cough a few days ago had evolved into a deep, rattling sound deep in her lungs. The physicist had sounded terrible during their bust that morning as a coughing spell overtook her as their ghost decided to make an appearance. Luckily, Mr. Jameson had proved to be a Class 1 entity and the other three women easily overpowered him. 

Speaking of the late Mr. Jameson, Holtz glanced over at the containment unit that held the man. She was a bit surprised he was making so much of a racket. There had been a Class 4 in the unit last week and it hadn’t made a peep. Mr. Jameson was rocking the containment unit back and forth, at one point almost making it off the table. 

Whistling, Holtzmann made her way over to the big containment unit to begin prepping for the transfer. It was a simple process, really. Push a few buttons, turn a few levers, and she would be ready. 

A loud creaking noise caught the engineer’s attention, and she gazed sharply at the containment unit on her desk. 

It was suddenly glowing a bright orange. 

“Oh, Jesus,” Holtzmann breathed. “Not good.” 

She quickly made her way to the unit, grabbing her wrench as she looked down at the metal contraption. It had only glowed once before, and Holtzmann had been slightly amused as the ghostly goat they’d captured escaped and wrecked the waiting area, much to Kevin’s delight. Luckily, the unit had held the late Farmer Brown and they hadn’t had to deal with him. But the mess that Gertie made was more than enough excitement. 

Holtz forced herself to focus as she looked at the containment unit. The gauges were going crazy and she had a short window of time until Mr. Jameson made his presence known. 

She considered calling Abby or Patty for backup but Holtzmann quickly squashed that idea. No time to waste. This should be an easy fix. 

Should be. 

As if reading her thoughts, the unit began to shake viciously. Holtzmann knew her window of time to fix the unit had quickly closed. 

A frighteningly high pitched whine. 

Air swirling suddenly. 

Shit. 

Holtzmann had a fraction of a second to wish that she hadn’t told Erin to go home. 

Then, her world exploded. 

The ghost burst out of the containment unit with an angry screech, sending Holtz flying back into the wall. Her head thudded painfully, stars forming behind her eyelids. Her vision cleared just in time to see the ghost swoop down and grab the front of her overalls in its grasp. 

Holtz grunted as the ghost pulled her up and threw her across her work table. Glass, metal, tools, and wire scattered as Holtzmann flew over the workspace and fell to the ground with a groan. She gasped in a huff of pain and stumbled to her feet. 

Proton pack. 

Not an option, Holtzmann realized. They were kept downstairs. She could make a break for the steps but Holtz didn’t want to tangle with a ghost on the steps. She had done that once before and the stairs won. Her shoulder still ached when she thought of the less than graceful tumble. Her mind whirled, trying to think of an idea. 

The ghost chose that moment to appear in front of her again. 

Thinking quickly, Holtzmann spoke up. “Look, Mr. Jameson, I know you’re upset at us. Well, me. But you have to admit, haunting that poor lady wasn’t too kind,” she said. Holtz offered what she hoped was an easy smile and casual shrug. 

Mr. Jameson didn’t appreciate the statement. He screeched again, swooping down towards the engineer. Holtzmann dodged the move, feeling cold air brush past her as the ghost tried to grab her. She ducked to the ground, rolling away from the ghost and back up into a kneeling position. Somehow she had ended up close to the brass pole that would lead her to the first floor. 

Perfect. 

She could probably get down the pole and sprint to the pack and have it powered up before Mr. Jameson knew where she was. 

Holtzmann breathed a sigh of relief, glancing around the room to ensure that she had the element of surprise on her side. 

She realized a second too late that Mr. Jameson was behind her. 

“Shit!” 

Holtzmann felt the ghost grab her by her lab coat and lift her up as the word fell from her lips. He dragged her across the room before suddenly swooping up and dangling Holtzmann high above her work station. 

“Don’t you dare-“

A ghostly laugh as Mr. Jameson dropped the engineer before she could finish her sentence. Gravity worked against her. Holtzmann’s forehead thudded painfully on the edge of the table before she fell to the ground. Holtzmann was aware of a trickle of blood moving down her face as she rolled to her back. 

“Oh no,” Holtzmann groaned out as the ghost picked her up by the throat and threw her across the room once again. Holtz was pretty sure that if the wall hadn’t been there, she would have kept going several feet. 

Holtzmann hit hard and off balance, feeling a pop in her right knee as her body ricocheted off the wall and connected with the floor. She screamed as her hands grasped the limb, willing the sudden and sharp ache to go away. Her mind was telling her to move, but her body refused to cooperate. 

The ghost sneered at Holtzmann as she attempted to move away from him. “Please, don’t,” Holtz pleaded, using her uninjured leg to try to push away from the ghost. Her hand glanced against the pocket of her lab coat and Holtz’s breath caught in her throat. 

One of the ghost grenades was in her pocket. 

She had intended to tune it up weeks ago to see if she could turn the medium poof into a big poof. She had forgotten it was there. 

Holtzmann nearly cried in relief as she stuck her hand in her pocket and felt the small object. While it wasn’t harmful to humans, the blast that followed was bone jarring if one were too close. She needed to put distance between herself and the ghost. And quickly. 

She gritted her teeth and rolled away suddenly, crying at the searing pain in her knee. There was definitely something terribly wrong with her knee - no time to think about that now. Blood, sweat, and tears mingled as she crawled the short distance to her workstation. 

Holtzmann used her arms to pull herself up, leaning heavily as she stared across the workspace at the ghost. 

“Give it up, girlie.”

The words were cold and menacing. Holtzmann shivered as her fingers found the tab to the grenade. She had an eight second window before it detonated, six seconds at the most before she could throw it at the ghost without him having a chance to react. 

Taking a deep breath, she pulled the tab to activate the grenade. 

One second.

The ghost flew over the table and Holtzmann dropped to the floor. She rolled under the table and hoisted herself up once again on the opposite side. 

Two seconds.

The ghost screeched in fury at her tactic, using its long arms to sweep pieces of broken glass and metal at Holtzmann. She flinched, turning slightly so the broken pieces hit her side instead of her face. Still, she felt a sharp stinging on her arm as she turned, warm liquid trickling down her skin. 

Three seconds. 

A critical mistake to take her eyes off the ghost, as Holtzmann found herself being picked up and flung across the room again. She stuck her hand out to soften the landing. Holtzmann managed not to slam her knee to the ground but she fell awkwardly on her arm. The snap of her left wrist as her body weight came down on the delicate limb seemed to echo throughout the room. 

Or maybe that was her scream. 

Four seconds. 

She rolled to her back, gasping in agony as she pressed her injured wrist to her chest. Still, her free hand clutched the grenade in her pocket, ready to launch it at the ghost. 

Five seconds. 

He was moving slowly toward Holtzmann, a sneer on his face. Holtz smiled at him, feeling the iron tang of blood on her lips. 

Mr. Jameson probably thought she was crazy. 

Maybe she was. 

He was moving slowly, toying with her. 

He had no clue she had the ultimate toy. 

Six seconds. 

Go time. 

Adrenaline pumped as Holtzmann popped up, another agonized cry coming from her lips as she put weight on her damaged knee. In a fluid motion, she pulled the grenade out of her pocket and threw it at the ghost. 

Seven seconds. 

His sneer turned to a look of surprise at the small object flying toward him, instinct working with the apparition to catch the grenade. Holtzmann was pretty sure that he had no clue what the device was, but that it would end him. 

Permanently. 

Eight seconds. 

Game over. 

Holtzmann threw her uninjured arm in front of her face, but she could still see the end result. The poof was spectacular, a flash of bright light destroying the ghost in a matter of nanoseconds. Ectoplasm splattered the walls and floor. 

Then, it was quiet. 

Blessedly quiet. 

Holtzmann sobbed as her leg gave out on her, sending the engineer to a heap on the ground. 

She needed help. Her phone was laying on the floor, no more than five feet away. Her fingers stretched toward the object, blood smearing on the floor. 

The edges of her vision darkened dangerously. 

Not good. 

Holtzmann’s breath hitched as she took a deep, steadying breath. She couldn’t pass out. 

She could crawl to her phone, call for help, then pass out. That was a better plan. 

Phone. 

It seemed miles away, and Holtzmann couldn’t help but to slip into unconsciousness.


	2. Found

Erin huffed out an irritated breath as she made her way back to the firehouse. Of all the nights to forget her phone, it had to be this one. Nausea now bubbled in her stomach and threatened her senses. As if the relentless coughing wasn’t enough, she now felt like she was going to empty her stomach on the street. 

The physicist had been tempted to leave the phone and continue her journey home, as the only plans she had were to fall face first into bed and sleep this illness off. 

However, Erin had promised Holtz she would text her when she got home. She knew that if she didn’t, Holtzmann would come knocking on her door within the hour. That would wake her up, and Erin would be pissed off. 

Erin didn’t like being pissed off. Especially when it came to Holtzmann. 

Fingers trembled as she worked her key into the lock on the door, pushing it open. Her eyes immediately spotted her cell phone, still sitting on the table where she left it twenty minutes prior. 

With a sigh, Erin made her trek across the room. It seemed like miles to her aching body, but she forced her way to the phone. Erin snatched up the phone and she took a moment to run the back of her hand across her feverish forehead. 

Erin frowned slightly as she realized how quiet it was upstairs. No bangs, poofs, music, footsteps. 

In fact, it was eerily silent. 

“Hey, Holtzmann?” Erin called up the steps. “It’s just me. I forgot my phone.”

No response. 

“Holtzmann?” Erin let out a cough as she slipped her phone into her back pocket. “Holtz, you still here?”

No response. 

Erin glanced at the steps, debating whether she should go check on Holtzmann. She felt a little silly. After all, Holtz was a grown woman who was more than capable of taking care of herself. Still, Erin thought about how adamant the engineer had been about getting the late Mr. Jameson into the containment unit and then working on some of her projects. 

Even if she was deep into a project, Holtzmann would have acknowledged her presence. 

Something wasn’t right. 

Concern overtook her body and Erin found herself moving to the stairs. Wearily, she began climbing the steps to the second floor. 

She finally made it to the top, her stomach dropping as she saw ectoplasm on the floor in front of Holtzmann’s work station. There was broken glass, metal, and wires littering the ground. Experiments were haphazardly strewn around the room. Holtzmann’s beloved stereo was laying on the floor, cracked. 

It looked as if a bomb went off. Or someone had been in a fight. 

Oh, Jesus. 

No. 

“Holtz?” Erin called. “Where are you?” A pause, then she added, “I swear to God, if you are messing with me I will never talk to you again.”

No response. 

Erin’s stomach plummeted even more as she made her way further into the room. She noticed streaks of blood on the wall across from her. She peered over the work station. 

And then she found Holtzmann. 

Her colleague - her friend - was laying on the floor behind her work table, head resting on her outstretched arm. Blood streaked her clothing and her blonde hair was tousled from its usual twist. A few strands of hair stuck to a wound on Holtzmann’s forehead. Erin could see bruises dotting pale skin, dark bruising under one eye. 

“Oh, God! No!” Erin cried, her illness forgotten as she clumsily rounded the table. She dropped to her knees next to the engineer. “No, no, no!”

This wasn’t happening. 

“Holtz? Holtzmann!” Erin frantically whispered, touching her cheek gently. There was no response from the blonde. Erin gently placed her fingers against the side of Holtzmann’s throat. She felt a little silly doing so as she watched the steady rise and fall of the engineer’s chest, but she needed to feel the beat to completely reassure herself. 

She wanted to brush the hair from the wound and gather Holtzmann into her arms and never let go. However, Erin’s basic medical knowledge told her that she needed help for the engineer. 

Help beyond her skills. 

If she wasn’t too late. 

No time for that. 

Erin shook her head to break herself from her thoughts, fumbling for her phone. With shaking fingers, she dialed 9-1-1. 

“9-1-1. What’s your location?” Erin quickly rattled off the address of the firehouse, and the woman continued, “Fire, police, or ambulance?”

“I need an ambulance! My friend, she’s hurt,” Erin cried. 

“I’m dispatching an ambulance now. They will be there in about five minutes, if that. What happened to her?” the 9-1-1 operator asked calmly. 

“I don’t know! I left work for the evening because I’m not feeling well and I forgot my phone and I came back and she didn’t answer me and that’s not like her so I went upstairs and she’s laying on the floor! There’s glass and blood everywhere!” The words rushed out of Erin’s mouth and she felt her breathing quicken. Now was so not the time for a panic attack. Erin forced herself to breathe deeply. 

“Is your friend breathing, ma’am?” 

Another deep breath. 

“Yes, she’s breathing.”

“Can you tell if there any obvious injuries?”

“The only thing I see is a cut on her head,” Erin said, “But she’s kinda on her side and her body is twisted so I don’t really know. Should I move her to check?”

“As long as her airway is clear, do not attempt to move her,” the 9-1-1 operator said gently. “I know you’re worried, but the best thing you can do for your friend is to wait for the EMTs. They will be there soon.”

Erin closed her eyes, taking another long breath. “Okay.”

“What’s your friend’s name?”

“What? Oh. Holtzmann. Dr. Jillian Holtzmann.” A pause, then she said, “She’s an engineer. Probably one of the best in the country.” She brushed her fingers through Holtzmann’s hair, careful to avoid the wound. 

“Ma’am, is there any chance Dr. Holtzmann could have been attacked?” The 9-1-1 operator questioned. “Are you safe there?”

Erin glanced around nervously, and her eyes zeroed in on the containment unit. She saw the lid open, and she rubbed her forehead. “No, she wasn’t. Not by anything human,” she whispered. 

A low moan came from Holtzmann. Erin’s heart skipped a beat at the sound. “Holtz? Hey, Holtzmann?” Erin placed a gentle hand on her friend’s cheek. 

“Ma’am, everything okay?” The 9-1-1 operator’s voice was a beacon of calm, and Erin was grateful for that. 

“Yeah, I...she made a noise. I think she’s waking up,” Erin told the woman on the phone. 

“That’s a good thing,” the 9-1-1 operator replied. “If she regains consciousness, try to keep her calm and still until the EMTs arrive. They should be there soon.”

As if on cue, Erin jumped as she heard a loud pounding on the door. “They are here,” Erin said breathlessly. 

“Okay, I’m going to disconnect now,” the 9-1-1 operator told Erin. “Good luck to you and your friend.”

“Thanks,” Erin replied. She disconnected, glancing at Holtzmann’s pale face. Erin’s fingers found Holtzmann’s hand, and she squeezed gently. 

“Be right back, Holtz,” she said tearfully before turning and rushing down the steps. 

Erin ignored the twinge of pain in her chest as she raced down the steps and went to the front door. She flung it open without a sound, and gestured for the two men to follow her. They pulled a gurney and both were weighted down with medical bags. 

Erin’s feet seemed to be flying as she made her way up the steps, her own illness pushed to the back of her mind despite the threatening nausea. Only one thing mattered right now, and that was the blonde woman. 

The EMTs glanced around the room, taking in the machines and materials. Confusion was clearly etched in there faces. 

“She’s over here,” Erin said, guiding the men over to Holtzmann. 

“Do you know what happened?” The EMT spoke quickly, kneeling next to the blonde. 

“I don’t know,” Erin answered. “I left and I came back because I forgot my phone, and I found her like this.” A pause, then a tear filled question. “Is she going to be okay?”

The second EMT spoke up gently, “We’re going to do everything in our power to help your friend. Please just take a step back and try to remain calm.”

Erin nodded, her feet seemingly moving on their own as she watched the men begin to work on Holtzmann’s still body. 

Eyelids fluttering. 

“Holtz,” she breathed out, hopeful that the blonde was coming back to her. 

“Mmm.”

A slight moan as the EMTs carefully placed a neck brace on the engineer. 

“Ma’am, can you hear me?”

No response as he flashed a light in Holtzmann’s eyes. 

Words seemed to mingle as the EMTs communicated with each other. They clearly worked together often and the seamless treatment was a relief to Erin. 

She nearly cried out as she watched the EMTs move Holtzmann to the backboard. The engineer’s eyes flew open at the action, a gasp of pain escaping her lips. 

“Ma’am? It’s okay, we’re here to help you,” the EMT’s voice was quiet and gentle. 

“Hurts,” Holtzmann whimpered. Her fingers found the edge of the neck brace. She flinched as she touched the hard plastic, pulling her hand back suddenly. 

“Can you tell us what hurts?”

“Knee. Back. Head. Arm. Everything.”

“Ma’am, just try to stay calm.”

“Erin?”

The physicist was surprised to hear her name. ”I’m here,” she said, punctuating the two words with a coughing fit. 

“You still sound terrible.”

Erin couldn’t help the slight laugh. “You focus on you, Holtz,” she said tearfully. 

No response. 

“She passed out again,” Erin heard one of the EMTs tell the other. 

They worked quickly to strap Holtzmann to the backboard before moving her to a gurney and securing her. Hours seemed to pass, but in reality it was less than ten minutes since she had found Holtzmann. Finally, a voice broke Erin from her thoughts. 

“Ma’am, we are ready to transport your friend. You can ride along,” the EMT offered. 

“Yeah, I...which hospital are we going to?” 

“Mount Sinai.” The response was quick and Erin didn’t need him to tell her to follow them as they carefully maneuvered the gurney down the steps and out the front door. 

The physicist stopped suddenly, bringing a hand to her feverish forehead. 

Erin couldn’t believe she hadn’t thought to do this. She pulled out her phone, fingers tapping out a familiar number. 

Two rings, then a groggy, “Yeah?”

“Abby? It’s me. I need you and Patty to meet me at Mount Sinai.”


	3. Hurt

“Erin?”

The voice was soft and concerned. She didn’t deserve concern. 

All she could think about was how she had let Holtzmann down. 

This was all her fault. 

“Erin.”

The physicist finally looked up, and Abby’s heart nearly broke when Erin looked at her and Patty. Her friend looked terrible, in every sense of the word. Eyes were red and tear filled, which contrasted her feverish skin greatly. Blood stained her fingertips and nails but Erin either didn’t notice or didn’t care. 

Abby and Patty exchanged a concerned look before moving silently. Abby took the seat next to Erin, wrapping an arm around her trembling shoulders. Patty knelt in front of her, taking her hand. The trio let silence linger for several long moments before the tallest woman eventually spoke up. 

“Baby, what happened?” Patty asked quietly. 

Another long stretch of silence. 

“I...I don’t know,” Erin answered. “I wasn’t feeling well, and Holtzmann told me to go home. I never should have left.” A tear slipped down her cheek and she used her free hand to brush it away. “I forgot my phone, so I went back. I almost didn’t but Holtz had asked me to text her when I got home.” A beat as she realized how much worse this could have been. “I almost didn’t go back. Oh, God! What if I hadn’t? She’d still be there!” 

“Hey, Erin, let’s not go there,” Abby said gently as she rubbed her back. 

Erin brushed away another tear, sniffling as she continued. “I went back and it was quiet,” she told Abby and Patty. “Too quiet. So I went upstairs and saw...it looked like a bomb had gone off in the lab or like someone had tossed the place. There was glass and metal and experiments and...and blood all over the place. I found Holtz laying on the ground. She was unconscious.

“I called 9-1-1...she came to briefly when the EMTs were moving her. Said everything hurt. Then she passed out again. She didn’t come to all the way here,” Erin told them. “They wouldn’t let me back with her so I’ve been waiting here.”

“Let me see if they can tell me anything,” Abby told her two friends, standing and making her way to the information area. 

Erin kept her head down as Abby walked away. It was quiet between the pair until Erin miserably whispered, “I’m sorry.”

It took Patty a moment to realize Erin had spoken. “For what, baby?” she asked. 

“For leaving Holtzmann alone. We...we don’t do that. For this reason,” Erin sniffled. 

“Hey, it’s not your fault,” Patty said firmly, putting a finger under Erin’s chin and lifting her head so she would look at her. “What would you have done if Holtzy was sick?”

“Told her to go home,” Erin answered. 

“Exactly. And accidents happen. Lord knows that this isn’t the first time we’ve been to the ER with Holtzmann.” Erin couldn’t help the brief laugh that escaped at this. Patty continued, “She was breathing and communicating with you. This is Holtzmann we are talking about. I’m sure she’s gonna be up and annoying us before we know it. You just have to think positive and trust that she will be okay.” 

Erin let out a short breath and nodded. “Okay,” she replied, closing her eyes. “Okay.”

“How are you feeling?” Patty asked Erin. Her breathing seemed a little off to the historian, and her words seemed to be punctuated with a wheeze every once in awhile. Erin even looked worse than she had when Patty left work for the evening. 

“I feel lousy,” Erin admitted. 

“Why don’t you go home?”

Erin just gave her a look and didn’t answer. She glanced up as Abby approached. 

“They can’t tell me much,” Abby said without preamble as she sat down. Her arm came to rest around Erin again, giving her a slight squeeze. “They said she is being examined and they are doing X-rays. It’s a surprisingly slow night so someone should be talking to us within a couple hours.”

Patty eventually moved to sit in the empty chair next to Erin. Abby removed her arm from Erin’s shoulders. They sat in silence as the minutes ticked past, each woman lost in her own thoughts. There was nothing to talk about. The only thing that broke their silence was an occasional yawn or sigh, and of course coughing and sniffling from Erin. 

Abby was about to suggest to her friend that she go home, that they would keep her up to date. A voice broke them out of their thoughts and Abby’s suggestion remained unsaid. 

“Family of Dr. Holtzmann?”

“That’s us,” Abby answered, standing up anxiously. Patty and Erin were soon to follow, the latter swaying slightly. Patty grasped the physicist’s elbow in a gesture of support - mentally and physically. 

“I’m Dr. Lewis,” the doctor introduced herself, extending her hand to the researcher in a brief introduction. Abby accepted the gesture. 

“Abby Yates. Is she okay?” Abby quickly asked. “I’m her power of attorney and we’re basically the only family Holtzmann has.” Patty glanced at her, surprised. She knew that Abby and Holtzmann were close but she didn’t realize the older woman had the authority to make important medical decisions for the younger woman. She couldn’t ponder the new information too long, though, as the doctor spoke up. 

“Someone did quite the number on her,” Dr. Lewis answered, taking a moment to look over Holtzmann’s chart. “She has multiple contusions and small cuts on her back, arms, face, abdomen, and chest. Those will heal with time. There are no internal injuries or broken ribs, which is a huge plus.” 

“Okay,” Abby breathed out, glancing back at Patty and Erin. She sensed that the doctor was starting off with the least intensive of Holtz’s injuries. She realized she was correct as the doctor spoke again. 

“There are three major injuries that we treated otherwise. Dr. Holtzmann has a broken left wrist. We can’t put a cast on it yet, as the swelling needs to go down. We have her wrist in a stabilizing brace until someone will be able to cast it. 

“She also has a serious concussion. She regained consciousness shortly after arriving here and been conscious since. Dr. Holtzmann is aware of who she is and that someone attacked her. However, the details seem to be kind of fuzzy. She keeps saying something about ‘the late Mr. Jameson’,” Dr. Lewis told them. 

Abby briskly nodded, not wanting to explain that Holtzmann was probably indeed lucid in her explanation of what happened. 

“She knows what day it is and where she is, so chances are that she will be fine with time. I want her to have a head CT soon, but I’m thinking that part of the reason she lost consciousness is due to the extent of her other injuries. Little noise, no bright lights, limited electronics, and so forth will help her to recover from the concussion. We also had to put two staples near her hairline to close a cut there.”

With a sigh, the doctor glanced at her notes again. “The worst injury is that Dr. Holtzmann appears to have a torn ACL in her right knee as well. We will need to do an MRI to see if that is indeed the case, but swelling needs to go down for the imaging to show a clear tear. We have immobilized her knee with a brace but she will need surgery if it is indeed torn.” The doctor allowed the news to sink in, then gently asked, “Any questions?”

“Will she be okay?” Erin asked tearfully. Despite what her friends told her, she still felt guilty that this had happened. If only she had stayed...hopefully Holtzmann would be as forgiving as them. 

The doctor offered Erin a sympathetic smile. “Her wrist will heal within 4-6 weeks. The concussion should clear up in a week or two with no lasting effects. The knee will take the most recovery. After surgery, Dr. Holtzmann will need 6-9 months of therapy to get her mobility back.” The doctor paused before adding, “I can recommend a good knee doctor. One of the best in the city.”

Abby nodded, taking in a deep breath. Holtzmann had a long road of recovery ahead of her. “How long will Holtz be in the hospital?”

Another glance at the notes, and Dr. Lewis replied, “I want to at least keep her through the next two nights. She’s going to be in some pain and I want to order the scan and monitor her head injury due to the length of time she was unconscious.”

“Can we see her?” Patty asked.

“Yes, that’s fine. Try to limit your time, please. Dr. Holtzmann was just given painkillers and she will be fairly drowsy. We want to be sure to limit her stress,” the doctor replied. “Room E-8. We will move her up to a room within the hour. It’s been a really crazy night with admittance, but I will try to get Dr. Holtzmann in a room as quickly as possible.”

“Thanks, Doc,” Patty replied. A glance at Erin, and she added, “You doing okay?”

Erin simply nodded, not trusting her voice. 

Abby led the way through the halls, following signs to Holtzmann’s room number. She knocked gently, an unfamiliar voice telling her it was fine to enter the room. 

Abby half expected Holtzmann to be sitting up in the bed, joking and flirting with the nurse that was checking her vitals. However, the sight of her long time friend nearly made tears come to Abby’s eyes. 

Holtzmann was reclined slightly, her right knee in a heavy brace that covered her from thigh to mid calf. The limb was propped up on several pillows. A large ice pack covered her leg, cooling inflamed muscles and ligaments. Her left wrist received the same treatment, braced and elevated, but the ice pack was slightly smaller. Abby could see the cut stapled shut on Holtzmann’s forehead, and she wasn’t surprised to see the beginnings of a black eye on the engineer’s pale, dazed face. 

The Ghostbusters could see that the emergency room staff had cut away the material of Holtzmann’s right pant leg. The other leg seemed unscathed from scissors, though stains as well as paint splatter covered the well-loved cotton. She was wearing hospital gown instead of a shirt, and it seemed to dwarf the engineer. Her dress shoes and socks were gone and Abby was surprised to see green polish on Holtzmann’s toenails. 

For some reason, the sight of Holtzmann looking so tiny in the hospital bed caused Erin to gasp slightly. The noise was halfway between a hiccup and a sob. 

Abby sharply glanced at Erin; the sound drew concern from Patty as well. Holtzmann heard the noise and gazed at the trio, smiling weakly. 

“Hey, guys,” she greeted them, painkillers thick in her tone. “Sorry to drag you out in the middle of the night for this.” 

“Don’t you go worrying about that, Holtzy,” Patty gently chastised her. “You just focus on getting better.”

“Do you know what happened?” Abby asked, pulling a chair up next to Holtzmann. Patty did the same, but Erin chose to remain standing, leaning heavily against the doorframe. 

Holtzmann sighed, lazily tracing a pattern with her uninjured hand. “Containment unit malfunctioned, and the late Mr. Jameson decided to show me his displeasure of being trapped in such a small space,” she replied, ignoring the confused look the nurse was giving the women. “Not sure why. Well, I know why Mr. Jameson was pissed. But the containment unit...could be normal wear and tear, could be something else.” A half shrug followed. “I’ll have some time to tinker with it I suppose.” 

“I’m sorry, Holtz,” Erin mumbled from her spot on the doorframe. Her fingers gripped the frame, willing her body to stay upright as exhaustion overtook her being. 

“No worries, sweet cheeks,” Holtz replied with a faint smile. She lifted her broken wrist up, staring at the brace in wonder and confusion. 

“Sweetheart, you need to keep the ice on that wrist,” the nurse told Holtzmann, gently guiding her hand back down to the pillow. The exasperation in her voice told the Ghostbusters that this wasn’t the first time she had said that to the engineer. 

“Sorry,” Holtzmann mumbled, her eyes suddenly growing heavy. Whatever she had been given was clearly having an effect. 

“Hey, guys, why don’t you go home?” Abby suggested, sneaking a concerned glance at Erin. “I’ll stay with Holtzmann until they get her settled for the evening. Then, we can come back in the morning when we’re all rested.”

“That sounds good, Abby,” Patty replied before Erin could protest. She stood up, taking a moment to stretch. “Come on, E. Let’s get you home and to bed.”

“That‘s ‘posed to be my line, Pat,” Holtzmann slurred, a half smile on her face. 

Patty rolled her eyes at the engineer. “In your dreams, Holtzy,” she told her friend lightly. Patty glanced at the physicist, expecting to see her friend turning a nice shade of red. Her stomach dropped when she noticed that Erin was paler than she had been just twenty seconds ago. 

“Erin, you okay?” Patty asked, the concerned tone drawing Abby’s attention from Holtzmann. 

“I don’t feel too good,” Erin admitted, her knees suddenly becoming weak. 

The room suddenly tilted, and Erin had a moment to wonder if this was what Holtzmann experienced just hours ago. 

The only thing that kept her from hitting the floor was Patty’s strong arms. 

And Erin lost her battle to stay conscious.


	4. Woken

Quiet. 

Light snoring. 

Erin slowly forced her eyes open, taking a moment to adjust to the dull lighting. She glanced to her left, seeing an industrial curtain hanging from the ceiling. 

Soft colors, boring design. White walls. Uncomfortable bed. Thin blanket. 

Hospital. 

She moved her head slightly, her eyes focusing on an IV pole. Her eyes trailed from the bag hanging from the pole to her wrist, taking in the tube attached to the needle in her hand. 

Saline?

Erin moved her fingers gently, then curled her toes. Knees and elbows moved a little stiffly. Her body felt achy and her head heavy but she couldn’t figure why. The last thing she remembered was standing in the door of Holtzmann’s ER room...

Holtzmann. 

Light snoring. 

Erin slowly moved her head to the right, finding the source of the snoring. She couldn’t help the smile that appeared on her face. Erin licked her lips, getting ready to whisper the engineer’s name. Just then, a nurse entered the room, doing a double take when she saw Erin’s eyes opened. 

“Oh, thank God,” the nurse said. “Maybe we can get this one to stay in her own room now that you’re awake!”

Erin glanced at Holtzmann, noticing that the blonde looked somewhat uncomfortable even in her sleep. She was in a recliner, but it looked like there was very little to the plastic covered seat. Her left arm was in a sling, and her legs were reclined, her right knee higher than the left. A blanket covered Holtzmann from the waist down, but she could see flannel pajama pants with kittens on them sticking out from the end of the blanket. A small white bandage covered where Erin knew two staples were in her head and her black eye was startling against her pale skin. 

Erin smiled slightly to herself at the sight of her friend. There was no doubt in her mind that the engineer had pestered the nurses and doctors until they let her visit. Erin coughed slightly, wincing slightly at the action, and then asked, “What happened?”

“You fainted in the ER. It turns out you have pneumonia, and you were very dehydrated and anemic,” the nurse replied. “You’re on a strict antibiotic and saline cocktail. We also gave you a blood transfusion. You were also flat out exhausted, hence the reason you’ve been sleeping so long.”

“Mmm,” Erin moaned. “How long was I out?”

“You’ve been asleep for 32 hours. I was beginning to think that you’d pulled a few all-nighters without me.” Erin gazed at Holtzmann, surprised to hear the blonde speak. “Good morning, beautiful,” Holtzmann added with a sleepy wink. 

Even half asleep, injured, and in pain, the engineer could still make Erin blush. “Hi, Holtz,” she mumbled back. “Why aren’t you in your own bed?” 

“Because she’s stubborn,” the nurse answered for Holtzmann. “I’ll be back in a few minutes to get your vitals. The doctor will want to see you as well.”

“Thank you,” Erin said politely, her gaze on Holtzmann. “Well? Why are you not in a bed?”

Holtzmann offered a one shouldered shrug. “Hospital beds are for dudes,” she answered seriously. 

“Does that make me a dude?” Erin asked. 

“Erin, my darling, you are the farthest thing possible from a dude.”

Erin smiled slightly before leaning her head back. “God, Holtz, I’m so sorry.”

“And there it is.”

“I never should have le- wait, what?” Erin cut herself off at Holtzmann’s words. 

Holtzmann shifted slightly in her chair with a wince. “I was waiting for the Erin Gilbert Apology Special. The one where you accept blame for something that was clearly not your fault.”

“What do you mean, not my fault? We don’t leave each other alone for this reason,” Erin argued. 

“You were sick. I insisted you leave. It happened.” Another half shrug. “I don’t blame you. Abby doesn’t blame you. Patty doesn’t blame you.” A beat, then she added, “Even Kevin wouldn’t blame you.”

Erin laughed, brushing a tear that had slipped down her cheek. “Kevin probably doesn’t even know what happened yet,” she sniffled. 

“Fair point,” Holtzmann agreed. 

Erin laid back in her hospital bed, looking up at the ceiling. Her chest still felt tight, but no longer as if an elephant was sitting on it. Her head was stuffy still, but she guessed that the antibiotic running through her system was helping. 

Erin snuck a glance at Holtzmann, her heart seeming to skip a beat. This incident was too close for comfort. 

It could have been much worse. 

She needed to tell Holtz how she felt. 

It was quiet for several moments, each woman lost in her thoughts. Finally, they spoke up at the same time. 

“Erin, I-“

“Holtzmann, I-“

The pair smiled sheepishly at each other and Holtzmann used her uninjured hand to gesture for the physicist to talk. 

Erin took a deep breath and opened her mouth. She was finally ready to admit her feelings to the engineer. Enough of the flirting and teasing. 

She needed this. 

However, a light set of footsteps caused Erin and Holtzmann to look over, seeing a young doctor saunter into the room. He pressed the hand sanitizer dispenser, rubbing his hands briskly. “Dr. Gilbert, how are you feeling today?” he asked breezily, a flash of perfectly white teeth showing. 

Holtzmann immediately disliked the man. 

“I’m okay,” Erin said, wincing as she coughed deeply. “For the most part,” she added. 

The doctor offered an easy smile to the physicist, one that many women would swoon over. Holtzmann was surprised to feel a bit jealous at the simple action. She coughed slightly, wanting the doctor to notice that he had interrupted an important conversation. Holtzmann immediately regretted the action when her head ached. 

The doctor merely glanced Holtzmann, pulling his stethoscope from around his neck. He placed the cold metal against Erin’s chest, his other hand braced against her shoulder. Erin glanced at Holtzmann uncomfortably, not surprised to see the engineer scowling as his hand lingered a little too long. 

“Well, Dr. Gilbert, your lungs still sound very congested. I’d like to keep you a couple days longer before discharging you,” the young doctor said. “Just to make sure you rest up some more.”

Erin sighed, leaning her head back. “That sucks,” she grumbled. 

“Well, I could give you something to look forward to,” the doctor smoothly responded. “Go to dinner with me.”

Erin could see Holtzmann’s eyes widening out of the corner of her vision. Erin’s mouth dropped slightly, shocked at the forward question from the medical professional. 

She was saved when an orderly bustled into the room pushing a wheelchair. “Dr. Holtzmann, time for your therapy appointment!” he said cheerfully, missing the tension in the room. 

“I...um...” Holtzmann’s voice quivered slightly. “Erin?” she asked timidly. There was so much she wanted to say, and Holtzmann feared that this doctor was going to take the opportunity away from her. Plus, she didn’t feel right leaving her friend with this creep of a doctor. 

“I’m good, Holtz,” Erin replied, offering a weak smile. She watched as the burly orderly all but lifted the engineer into the wheelchair. She felt a wave of guilt as she watched a flash of pain cross Holtzmann’s face as she settled in the chair, allowing the orderly to help her raise her knee up. The engineer glanced at the physicist, meeting Erin’s gaze. “I’ll see you soon?” Erin asked hopefully. 

Holtzmann nodded, looking away from Erin. She seemed to shrink into the wheelchair as she was pushed out of the room. She didn’t miss the next words of the conversation, though. 

“So Dr. Gilbert, have dinner with me?

Erin mentally cringed, saying the first thing she thought of. “No, thanks. I’m seeing someone,” she lied. She offered a half smile in gratitude. 

The doctor shrugged, smiling easily at Erin. “Can’t blame a man for trying, right?”

“No,” answered Erin distractedly. She sighed to herself, leaning her head back as the doctor finally left the room. She had almost confessed her feelings to Holtzmann. Erin had missed her opportunity to tell the engineer how she felt. 

As soon as Holtzmann was back, she would wait no longer. 

But Erin hadn’t seen the stiffening of Holtzmann’s shoulders at her response to the invitation to dinner.


	5. Falling

*4 Days Later*

Patty briskly entered the hospital room, a woman ready to spring her friend from the sterile environment. “Alright, girl! You ready to blow this joint?” The enthusiastic historian punctuated her question with a clap of her hands. 

Erin offered Patty a small smile. She was wearing clothes that Abby had brought her earlier in the day: a pair of yoga pants, a tank top, and a light hoodie, sneakers on her feet. Her lungs felt clearer and only an occasional coughing spell had appeared over the past twelve hours. “I guess so,” she answered. A hesitation, then, “How’s Holtzmann?”

Party matched her hesitation with a nonchalant shrug as she contemplated her reply. “She’s okay. She made it into work yesterday. She didn’t really do much, but she was there,” Patty offered. “She’s able to walk without crutches, which is good with her wrist injury. She’s not moving super fast, but it’s enough to hold off on surgery and do therapy until her wrist heals.”

“MRI wasn’t good news?” Erin asked. Even though Holtzmann wasn’t talking to her for whatever reason, Patty and Abby were keeping her up to date on Holtzmann’s injuries. She’d had an MRI the evening prior to see the extent of the damage to her knee. 

“No,” Patty replied. “The ER Doctor was right. She has a torn ACL.” A beat, then, “It’s a pretty bad tear. Doctor said she’s probably on the closer end of nine months to recover fully.”

Erin inhaled, then let out a long breath of air. “Did she...did she say anything about me?” Erin asked softly. 

Patty ran a hand across her face. She hated being the messenger in situations like these, especially when two people who weren’t talking were equally her friends. “She didn’t. She kinda just kept to herself the whole time. Tinkered with a couple things,” Patty replied. 

“I don’t know what I did wrong, Patty,” Erin said, not for the first time. “She went to therapy and I haven’t talked to her since. She won’t come to visit, won’t tell me she was discharged, won’t answer my calls or texts...I don’t get it. Is she mad at me all of a sudden for leaving her the other night?”

“Of course not, baby. You know Holtzmann. She doesn’t do well with communication and feelings and stuff like that,” Patty replied. “I know that’s not what you want to hear. You just gotta give her time.”

“If I knew what I did wrong, it’d be easier to give her time,” Erin countered with frustration. 

Before Patty could answer, an orderly made her way into the room pushing an empty wheelchair. “Dr. Gilbert, I’m your ride out of here,” she said cheerfully. 

“Thank God,” Erin breathed. As much as she wished she knew what had happened with Holtzmann, she felt a tad bit better knowing she was ready to go back into the city she loved. 

Patty shouldered Erin’s duffel bag, watching closely as her friend carefully moved to the wheelchair. Her discharge was less intense than Holtzmann’s, who was told to stay off her leg as much as possible (so far she hadn’t), to try not to use her wrist and keep it in the sling (kind of did that...at times), and to try to rest her brain (definitely not following that). 

Erin was told to finish out her antibiotics and to do a breathing treatment as needed. She was also warned to rest, as her immune system was still weak. Patty had a feeling that the physicist would be more cooperative than the engineer. 

The orderly made friendly conversation with the Ghostbusters as she wheeled Erin down to the entrance where Patty was already parked. It turned out that the orderly followed their work and asked a few questions. Patty politely answered the questions but Erin remained quiet for the journey. 

At last, Erin was wheeled outside. She took a moment to close her eyes and breathe in fresh air, tilting her face to the sun. 

She opened her eyes, and she noticed Patty smiling at her. “Feel good?” she asked. 

“Definitely!” She was a little more cheerful as the orderly helped her into Patty’s car, offering her gratitude. 

“Well, let’s get you home and resting,” Patty said once she was buckled in. 

Erin hesitated, then asked, “Do you mind if we go to the firehouse?” Seeing Patty’s disapproving look, she hastily added, “I...need something from my desk.” Another skeptical look, and Erin sighed. “Fine. I want to talk to Holtzmann,” she admitted. 

Patty raised an eyebrow, and said, “Baby, you gotta give Holtzy time.”

“What about me, Patty? I need to talk to her, to know what I did, and to...to...Well, I just need to talk to her!” A pause, then, “If you don’t take me then I’ll just take the subway and I’ll probably get germs and then I’ll get pneumonia again and-“

“Okay, okay!” Patty finally cut her off. “I’ll take you! I thought Holtzmann was the stubborn one but she at least waited three days to show up to work.”

“Thanks, Patty.”

They rode the rest of the way in silence. 

***

Patty held the door open for Erin, and the physicist took a moment to glance around the firehouse. She met Abby’s gaze and smiled at her longtime friend briefly. Abby shifted her eyes to Patty, who avoided her stare, muttering something about needing to find a book. 

“Shouldn’t you be in bed? At home?” 

Abby’s tone was disapproving, but Erin answered the question. “I had a few things to take care of,” Erin replied, pretending to not notice Abby’s hard look. She glanced up the stairs, flinching as she remembered the last time she was up in Holtzmann’s lab.

The engineer, unconscious. Experiments and blood littering the floor. Those fleeting moments where she wondered if Holtz was...

Erin blinked away the image of an unmoving Holtzmann, reminding herself that the engineer was alive...banged up, but alive. 

“She here?” Erin asked Abby after a long pause. 

Abby swallowed, glancing upstairs. She had tried to talk to Holtzmann to see why the engineer was all of a sudden avoiding Erin. The blonde had clammed up, changing the subject every time she tried to ask about the physicist and the riff between them. 

“Yeah,” she finally told Erin. “She’s here. Upstairs.” She hoped Holtzmann would forgive her for sending Erin to her safe haven. However, Abby needed her team to be cohesive, even with Holtzmann potentially out of action for awhile. Add to that, she hated the sight of her two close friends being so mopey. 

Erin nodded her gratitude to Abby, taking a deep breath to steady her nerves. She flattened her clothes and patted her hair. Erin made her way up the stairs quietly, each step more nerve wracking then the last. Erin finally made it to the top, only to see a flash of messy blonde hair disappear down the fire pole. 

“Holtzmann, I told you not to use the fire pole!” Abby’s voice rang out a moment later. “Between your knee and wrist - wait, where are you going? Holtzmann!”

Erin turned around and went downstairs, willing the tears away as she saw Holtzmann hobble out the back door, leading to the alley. 

She couldn’t believe that Holtzmann ran from her. 

And now Erin really didn’t know how to fix this. 

***

Holtzmann was on a mission. 

She was deep into a project, and she needed the circuitboard from an old tube television. Not a new one. Those were junk and didn’t have the components she needed. 

Holtz probably could have asked Abby or Patty to help her look in the dumpsters in the alley behind the firehouse, but...

She was on a mission. Zeroed in. Couldn’t stop to talk to anyone. 

Besides, Patty was currently taking Erin home after picking her up from the hospital and she didn’t want to disturb Abby. Especially after the researcher yelled at her for using the fire pole. She couldn’t help it, though. What was the purpose of the fire pole if she couldn’t use it, ACL tear, broken wrist, and concussion be damned? It was easier than the steps, as long as she landed on her left leg and held tightly with her right hand...

Holtzmann wouldn’t be surprised if Patty was still at the hospital, getting Erin. Her own discharge had taken forever. 

Holtzmann tried to push the thought of the physicist out of her head. 

It had been four days. 

Four days since her heart was broken. 

She hadn’t realized that Erin was seeing someone. And now that Holtzmann knew, she did what she did best. 

She shut down. 

Abby and Patty had tried talking to her, but Holtzmann had changed the subject every time. Erin had been texting and calling her, and Holtzmann had considered powering off her phone. If she didn’t see Erin’s name, it would be easier to ignore her. 

She didn’t want to think of seeing Erin once she was discharged. She knew she would have to talk to the Instead, she focused on the present and finding what she needed. 

Holtzmann limped slowly to the dumpsters that lined the alley, determined to locate a circuitboard. People always threw their junk away in this alley. Holtzmann had struck gold before and had no doubt she would find what she needed. 

Standing on the toes of her left foot and using her right hand to brace herself, Holtzmann peered into the first dumpster. No luck. Same with the next one. 

It took three more dumpsters, but Holtzmann smiled as she peered into the fifth one. Right there in the dumpster was exactly what she needed. It wasn’t even at the bottom! As long as she could stand on something, she should be able to reach her treasure. 

The engineer made her way to back of the dumpster, her smile growing wider. 

“It must be my lucky day!” Holtz murmured, seeing a low wall right next to the dumpster. 

Giving her injured knee and arm a roll of the eyes, Holtzmann used her right arm to grab the dumpster and left leg to shimmy onto the wall. She probably looked ridiculous but it worked out. Holtzmann caught her breath, wincing as she stood. 

Even though her knee protested the motion, Holtz was able to easily look into the dumpster. She reached with her right hand to touch the circuitboard...

...and found that she was a couple inches too far away. 

“Damn it,” Holtzmann muttered. She stood up, brushing a stray piece of hair off her forehead. She pondered what she could do next. 

Holtzmann stood on her toes, using her right hand to pull herself up as she jumped, left foot scrambling for traction. Her aching body protested the action, but Holtzmann achieved her goal. Her stomach worked as a balance as her upper body leaned into the dumpster and her legs dangled on the outside. 

“Okay,” Holtzmann said aloud as she kept her balance. She was proud of her ingenuity but hoped to God that Abby didn’t come outside now. She would probably kill her if she saw her half in a dumpster. 

Reaching into her sling - the thing was good for something - Holtzmann pulled out a screwdriver. Using her good hand, she wedged the tool into a crack in the back of the television. She wiggled it a few times to loosen it, taking a moment to brush her sweaty forehead. 

Just when she was about to stand up to give her stomach a break, Holtzmann felt the circuitboard give and disconnect from the back of the television. 

“Yes!” Holtzmann cheered for herself. She put the screwdriver back in her sling, stretching to pull her prize out. 

It was heavier then she anticipated, but Holtzmann tugged at it. She leaned forward to see if there was something holding it down. 

It was a good plan, but a wave of dizziness hit Holtzmann as she leaned forward. “Shit!” Holtz exclaimed, thinking for the first time that this was a really stupid idea. 

Her thought was confirmed, and Holtzmann felt herself falling into the dumpster. Her shin banged painfully on the edge as she fell in, sending white hot pain through her knee. Somehow, Holtzmann caught herself on her right forearm, managing to brace most of her weight on the limb without hurting her arm or hitting her head. 

She took a moment to catch her breath, relieved to feel no new pain. Her knee ached, but it was no worse than before. Holtzmann carefully rolled to her back, seeing that she had fallen about four feet down. Just enough not to hurt herself, but deep enough that she wasn’t going to be able to climb out on her own. 

Holtzmann sighed. 

Now what?

***

“You’re being ridiculous!”

Erin jumped at Abby’s loud voice. She glanced up, looking to see what Kevin was doing to annoy her friend. 

To her surprise, Abby was looking directly at her. Still, Erin took a moment to glance around, then asked, “Me?”

“Yes, you!” Abby exclaimed, crossing her arms in front of her chest. “You keep looking at the door and sighing!” 

“What? I...no, I’m not!”

Abby’s face softened, and she sat down next to her long time friend. Silence hung between the two of them, Abby giving her miserable friend time. 

“I don’t know what I did,” Erin finally said. 

“I know,” Abby said. 

“And I shouldn’t be sitting here moping,” Erin continued. 

“You shouldn’t.”

“I should be out there talking to Holtzmann and finding out why she’s upset,” Erin added. 

“You should.”

“But I’m scared.”

“I know,” Abby said, patting her friend on the leg. “But like you just said, you need to talk to her and find out what’s going on.”

“Talk to who?”

Abby and Erin looked over, seeing Kevin standing there with Mike Hat. The scruffy dog wagged his tail expectantly, waiting for a pat from either of the women. 

“Just looking for Holtzmann,” Erin finally offered. 

“Oh, okay,” the receptionist replied. “Cause I just saw her. I was taking Mike for a quick walk.” He bent down and scratched the aforementioned dog behind his ear. 

“Where?” Abby asked. 

“Where what?”

Abby closed her eyes, trying to control her patience. She adored Kevin - they all did - but sometimes the man was the dimmest human being on the planet. 

“Where was Holtzmann?” Abby finally asked as she opened her eyes. 

“In the alley. I think she was playing hide-and-seek.”

“What?!” Erin and Abby’s voices mixed together. Had they not been so concerned about Holtz, they’d have laughed. 

Not this time though. 

“She was looking in a dumpster when I saw her last. Then she disappeared. She’s pretty good, I’d say.”

“I’m gonna kill her,” Abby swore, moving to stand up. Erin put a hand on her knee, encouraging the researcher to stay seated. 

Erin took a deep breath and stood up. “This is my mess. I need to fix it,” she told Abby. 

Before she could lose her nerve, she stood up and walked out the door.


	6. Found

Erin took a deep breath, hands trembling as she pushed open the door to head into the alley. Her eyes scanned the dumpsters, looking for the mess of blonde curls. 

She was disappointed to not see Holtzmann wandering around the dumpsters. Sighing, Erin pushed her way deeper into the alley. She peered behind and between the large cans, searching for her friend. Erin wasn’t sure whether to be relieved or worried; the engineer wasn’t laying on the ground, injured, but she also couldn’t see her. 

Erin peered behind the next one, wondering where exactly Holtzmann could be. 

“Hello? Is someone out there?”

Erin’s heart fluttered at the voice, smaller than usual. She hadn’t heard that voice in four long days other than on the blonde’s voicemail. The physicist glanced around, looking for Holtz. 

“Holtzmann? Where are you?”

A long pause followed, one that made Erin think that she imagined the voice. 

Then, “Erin. I, uh...I’m in here. The dumpster. Fifth one from our door. It’s a funny story, actually...”

The words cut off as Erin looked in the dumpster that she heard Holtzmann talking from. She was surprised to see the engineer had a sheepish look on her face, arm in sling, braced knee sticking up. She was wearing a baggy NYPD sweatshirt and black leggings. The leggings surprised Erin, as she didn’t realize Holtzmann even knew what they were. Her black eye was still prominent, but the swelling had gone down some. There was a bit of lettuce from someone’s lunch stuck in her hair, which had been thrown into a messy ponytail instead of her usual signature style. 

“Hi, Erin.”

Her voice was tiny, and Erin had to bite back the angry words that she felt coming. 

Four long days. 

“Hi, Holtzmann,” she mumbled. “Why the hell are you in the trash can?”

“I needed a circuitboard,” she replied, as if that explained everything. 

Erin closed her eyes briefly, trying to avoid snapping at Holtzmann. “And instead of asking one of us for help you decided to climb in the dumpster. On your own. With multiple serious injuries,” she finally said. 

“Yep.” 

The word didn’t have its usual spark, signaling to Erin that Holtz had come to the obvious conclusion: that this was a terrible idea. 

“Why have you been ignoring me?” The question was soft, so soft that Erin thought Holtz hadn’t heard it. 

“Hey, Erin...can we have this conversation when I’m not laying in the trash? This isn’t very comfortable,” Holtzmann spoke up. 

“I’d imagine so,” Erin replied. She looked around, finding the same wall that Holtzmann had stood in earlier. She walked over and easily climbed up. 

Erin peered over the edge at Holtzmann. “If you give me your hand, do you think I could help you up? Is there anything sturdy in there?”  
To  
“Trash is pretty well packed, so I should be able to do that,” Holtzmann replied. 

Erin stuck her hand down, and Holtzmann accepted the gesture with her own hand. Erin easily pulled the engineer up, not missing the wince that flashed across Holtzmann’s features when she put weight on her knee. 

“You okay?” Erin asked, holding Holtzmann’s hand to help her stand steady on the garbage bags. 

“Peachy keen,” Holtzmann lied, offering a small smile. 

Deciding to ignore Holtz’s obvious fib, Erin contemplated her options for several long moments. Finally, she told Holtzmann, “You’re going to have to take the sling off.” Holtz slid the cloth off and stuffed it into her pocket, listening as Erin continued, “I’m going to have you put your arms around my neck. Then, if you bend your left leg up, I should be able to lift you over the lip of the dumpster.”

“Okay,” Holtzmann said softly, wrapping her arms around the taller woman. Both of them ignored how natural the action felt, how perfectly they felt against each other...

“Wait!” Holtzmann exclaimed, reaching down and picking up the circuitboard she had fallen into the dumpster for in the first place. “Can’t forget my treasure!” She proudly handed it to Erin, who looked as if Holtzmann had just handed her a dead fish. 

Erin gently set the circuitboard down, not wanting to damage it and make Holtzmann do something crazy like search for another one. Holtzmann wrapped her arms around Erin’s neck again, waiting quietly for the other woman to talk. 

Erin had to swallow before she continued, “Lift your left leg up.”

Holtzmann’s face twisted in pain as she put her weight on her injured knee, but the engineer grit her teeth as she slammed her eyes shut. She hoped to God that Erin had the strength to pull her out of the dumpster. 

“I’m going to lift you now, Holtzmann,” Erin’s voice was quiet, and Holtzmann felt herself being easily picked up and brought over the top. 

Impressive. 

Her feet touched the wall, and Holtzmann felt Erin tumble. Arms still wrapped around each other, Holtzmann and Erin fell in a tangle of limbs. Erin’s arms moved so that she could soften Holtzmann’s landing. She ended up wrapping her arms around the smaller woman’s waist even as her back thudded painfully. 

Holtz caught most of her weight on her uninjured arm once again, but her immediate concern was not on herself. 

“You okay?” Holtzmann asked breathlessly. “Did I hurt you?” She had landed on Erin, and now the engineer found herself laying on the taller woman, staring into her eyes. 

“Just when you refused to talk to me the last four days.”

It wasn’t the most subtle statement, and Erin flinched as she saw the hurt in Holtzmann’s eyes. Nevertheless, the smaller woman sighed softly. To Erin’s surprise, she didn’t try to move away. Instead, she buried her face in Erin’s shoulder. 

“Why didn’t you tell me you were seeing someone?” Holtzmann’s voice was muffled, and Erin had to wonder if she imagined the question. 

The words hung in the air for several long moments, and Erin said the only thing she could think of. 

“What?” 

Holtzmann looked up, and Erin was shocked to see her blue eyes filled with tears. Holtz wasn’t a crier and the fact that she was close to letting her tears spill over cut Erin deeply. Holtzmann closed her eyes in an attempt to keep her bearings about her. Erin felt her heart skip a beat as she thought back to the hospital. 

The doctor flirting. 

Holtzmann going to therapy. 

‘I’m sorry, I’m actually seeing someone.’

Oh. 

Oh, shit. 

“Oh, Holtz,” Erin whispered. “Please, look at me.”

Holtzmann’s watery eyes opened at Erin’s request. Erin found herself bringing a hand up to Holtz’s cheek, tenderly wiping away a stray tear. Her touch was featherlike against Holtzmann’s bruise. “Holtzmann...I’m not seeing anyone,” she whispered.

Holtzmann blinked at her words, her face showing her confusion. 

“Holtz, I only said that since he kept bugging me. It was the first thing I though of,” Erin explained. 

“....oh, God.”

“Yeah,” Erin whispered, offering Holtzmann a half smile. “I’m not dating anyone.”

“Oh, my God. Erin, I...I’m an idiot. I can’t believe I was so-”

Whatever Holtzmann was going to say was cut off. Before Erin could talk herself out of it, she moved her hand to the back of Holtzmann’s neck and gently guided her face towards her. 

Then, Erin Gilbert pressed her lips firmly to Jillian Holtzmann’s. 

Erin felt Holtz stiffen in shock, but before she could tell herself she made a mistake, the physicist felt the other woman’s lips pressing against her own. 

Time seemed to stand still until they broke apart, gasping for air. 

“I wanted to tell you how I felt,” Erin said softly, her thumb gently stroking Holtzmann’s cheek. “Back at the hospital, when I woke up. But then the doctor came in and ruined the moment, and, well...”

Holtzmann’s response was to press her lips to Erin’s, her uninjured hand coming up to tangle in the dark locks. “I’m sorry,” she whispered against her lips. 

“Nothing to apologize for, Holtz,” Erin’s words ghosted across Holtzmann’s lips. “How about we be more open in the future, though?”

“Okay,” Holtzmann answered. A pause, then, “What is this, Erin? What are we?”

“I don’t know,” Erin replied honestly, “But I like it. And I want to...explore what happens. Take it slow.”

Holtzmann couldn’t help the grin that appeared on her face at the words. “I think that’s a great idea. So how about we get up and head back inside? You can help me with my project.” 

Erin carefully rolled from under Holtzmann, easily standing up. She managed to hide the slight twinge in her chest that reminded her she was recovering from pneumonia. Erin reached her hand down and pulled Holtzmann to her feet. 

“You good?” 

“I’m perfect.” Holtzmann watched as Erin picked up the circuitboard, then laced her fingers through the physicist’s free hand. They began the slow trek back to the firehouse, taking their time due to Holtzmann’s injured knee. 

“Hey, Holtz?” Erin’s voice broke the comfortable silence. The engineer glanced at her, raising an eyebrow for her to continue. “Since when do you wear leggings?”

Holtzmann laughed, a genuine sound that came deep from her belly. “Since they became an easy thing to pull on over the swelling,” she answered with a shrug. Holtzmann squeezed Erin’s hand, and the physicist offered her a shy grin. 

Things were going to be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! This went further then I anticipated and I wanted to make sure to tie things up before I get wrapped up in work for the school year. I have a couple ideas that I may play around with if I have a spare minute...thanks again, folks!


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